A Talk with Pappy
by Vol lady
Summary: A one-chapter story. At the end of Christmas Day 1880, Jarrod and Eugene have a brief talk about life and marriage.


A Talk with Pappy

December 1880

Christmas day was winding down, and the Barkleys were winding down with it. Nick and Heath had left to take Nancy and Suzanne and the Pearsons home. In Silas's absence, Audra and Victoria were cleaning up after dinner, and Audra had shanghaied Carl into helping.

Jarrod and Maggie were going to spend the night, and Maggie was up in the bedroom trying to get J.J. to sleep. Jarrod wandered to the library for a good cigar. He lit it and stepped outside onto the back porch.

The weather was cool but warm enough that his suit jacket was sufficient. Jarrod enjoyed a good, long drag on the cigar and savored the taste. He thought about how wonderful the holiday had been, how great it was that Nick and Heath were both engaged now, and how lucky he was to have Maggie and J.J. and everyone else. As Jarrod reflected on his life and his family, Eugene came out of the library, alone.

Jarrod took him in – this boy child turned physician turned husband. Grown up, successful, but was he happy? Jarrod couldn't tell by looking at him or by anything that had gone by since he came with his bride. If anything, he worried that his youngest brother was not happy at all. Now that they were alone together, Jarrod saw an opportunity. "Well, where's Mary Margaret? Did she finally collapse from all the festivities?"

"Sort of," Eugene said. "She's getting ready for bed."

"She's very quiet, isn't she?"

"Well, she's out of her element here. She feels a bit lost, I'm afraid."

Jarrod puffed away again. "Is everything all right between you two?"

"Oh, yeah, fine. She's really very sweet, and not usually this quiet, but yeah, she is quiet."

"Not what we're used to around here."

"Don't I know it."

"Is there anything we can do to make her feel more welcome?"

"No, no, she's fine. She's just not very outgoing. It's not her way. We're fine. We're very, very happy together. Seriously, Pappy, we are."

"So, I can quit worrying about you?"

Eugene laughed. "You shouldn't have started, but I can see why you did. Yeah, quit worrying, we're fine. She's just a bit worn down and taken aback by everything, and a bit homesick, too."

Jarrod nodded. "I can understand that."

"She's never been this far away from home before."

"I can understand that, too."

"So, big brother," Eugene hoped the question of his wife was settled, and he segued into another subject, one that had been bothering him. "Can Dr. Barkley talk to you for a minute?"

Jarrod felt the creepy crawlies climb up his neck. "Certainly. What do you want to talk about?"

"You."

Jarrod looked closely at his doctor brother, then took another puff on the cigar.

"When Audra was back east visiting me," Eugene said, "she mentioned she was concerned about some symptoms you seemed to be having."

"I know," Jarrod said. "She told me about it."

"But I haven't heard a peep about it since. What's happening, Jarrod? Was I right?"

Jarrod hesitated. Until this moment, it hadn't occurred to him that Eugene didn't know what was happening to him. Eugene was so far away, no one had told him. An entire year his family had known what was happening, but no one told Eugene. "I'm sorry, Gene. I should have told you long ago. I don't know why I didn't. Please forgive me."

"Forgive you? Nothing to forgive. So, I was right."

Jarrod nodded.

"The rest of the family knows?"

Jarrod nodded. "I couldn't keep it a secret forever."

"Who are you seeing for it?"

"Dr. Lumen in San Francisco."

"He's a good man."

"Very good. He's kept me going in fine fiddle for quite a while now. In all sincerity, I've known about my condition for almost two years, but I didn't talk about it until my symptoms became too obvious about a year ago."

Eugene finally gave a big sigh. "Well, that's you all over."

Jarrod laughed a little.

"What's Dr. Lumen saying about it?" Eugene asked.

"Well, between you and me and the barn door, we're running out of things we can do. And beyond that, Gene, I don't want to talk about details, and please don't tell anyone else what I said. Forgive me, but some things I still want to keep to myself."

"Like I said, there's nothing to forgive," Eugene said, smiling and nodding. Then he suddenly found himself shifting from Dr. Eugene to Brother Eugene, from the very professional doctor to the very hurting brother. "Jarrod, Mary Margaret and I will be leaving the day after tomorrow. We probably won't be back for a long time."

Jarrod leveled a gaze at his brother and saw the change from doctor to brother. Suddenly all Jarrod could see was that little boy that Nick used to chase around, and that infant he used to rock in his arms to help their mother get him to sleep. "You're wondering if you're ever going to see me again."

Eugene swallowed. He really thought he was going to cry.

Jarrod said, "I don't know. Don't tell the family any of this, but my own feeling is that I don't have years left – I have months left."

"Oh, Jarrod – "

Jarrod quickly put his arm around his brother. "Don't mourn me yet, Gene. None of us knows what lies ahead. Dr. Lumen says I may plateau out – I love these medical terms, 'plateau out.'"

Eugene put his arm around Jarrod. "I guess you're learning a few of our fancy words. Now you know how it feels when you throw all those legal terms around."

Jarrod chuckled. "Which reminds me, have you and Mary Margaret revised your wills since you got married?"

"Yes," Eugene said. "I remember all the lessons you tried to teach me. 'Keep your will up to date' was Rule Number 1 with you."

"And I'm sure 'keep tabs on your health' is Rule Number 1 with you."

Eugene nodded.

"I'm doing everything I can do to stay alive and well, Gene. I have a wife and a son that I love with all my heart, and I don't intend to leave them until I have to. So, if you come back next Christmas, you very well may find me still alive and kicking. And if the Good Lord dictates that that can't be – remember that I'm proud of you, and I love you, and I wish you many happy years with Mary Margaret."

Eugene swallowed tears away. "Just something I want you to know. I've always appreciated how you stepped up and took over as my father as well as my big brother. When I look at you – well, in a way, even before Father died I looked at you as a father. Not just because we're so far apart in age. I just saw how you always looked after us all, just like Father did. I know J.J. has the best father he could have."

Jarrod smiled, though secretly he was swallowing his own tears. "Thanks, Gene. That means a lot to me."

"When Mary Margaret and I have a child, I'll remember what I learned about being a father from you. I plan to be a good one, too."

"You will be, I'm sure." Jarrod's cigar was burning down, and he was also getting chilly. "Time to go back inside for a brandy to warm up. And Dr. Barkley, don't go lecturing me on my smoking and drinking habits. It's kind of a moot point now."

Eugene backed away a step and raised both hands in surrender. "No lectures. Besides, a brandy now and then never hurt anybody."

They went back inside together and suddenly confronted their mother in the library. They weren't sure how much of their conversation she'd heard, if any, and she wasn't giving it away. She just smiled.

"Well, my oldest and my youngest, the lawyer and the doctor," Victoria said. "And you even like each other."

Jarrod and Eugene both laughed. "Mother, if I lived here, we'd probably fight as much as Nick and Jarrod do," Eugene said.

"We don't fight," Jarrod said, putting one arm around his brother and the other around his mother. "We discuss."

A laugh burst out of Victoria before she could stop it. Then she just sighed. "Ah, Christmas."

"Amen to that," Jarrod said, and they all headed to the living room for the brandy.

The End


End file.
